little bits of me: 08/01/2004

little bits of me

8.07.2004

the patch-day 69

The day of the patch is done. I peeled the last one off my back a little more than two weeks ago and am now able to greet my self in the mirror as a non-smoker.

It's really all just a state of mind. I watched a friend have a smoke yesterday afternoon and at a gutteral level I wanted to join him. The thick smoke drawn into his mouth looked so enticing, but, as I have mentioned in other patch posts, that desire was quickly tempered by the reality of being a smoker: The reality of control and addiction and delusion.

That's why I say that it is all a state of mind. Without understanding that smoking really isn't a pleasure there is little to counter the desires brought on by nicotine addiction. There needs to be a stronger desire to counter the nicotine and for me, right now, it is the notion of being a former smoker and a non-smoker. This came recently in an email from a friend and reflects in many ways the sense of accomplishment I now feel:

as a friend once put it, for years after he quit if he was feeling low or bad about himself he could always remind himself that he quite smoking and instantly feel like he was capable of doing hard things/ accomplishing something if he wanted.

Regarding my brass zippo: i have found it.

posted by jmd ¶ Saturday, August 07, 2004 0 comments